So this desperate little grasshopper just kept scampering frantically about the cage while the iguana, who couldn't have been very hungry eyeballed it in a semi interested sort of a way. Eventually he scooped the grass hopper up with his tongue and - heres the good bit - he chewed off ONE leg and let the unhappy grasshopper scuttle off again. Now in a natural setting you would think the lizard would eat the whole meal at once, the grasshopper could still move fairly quickly even with the leg missing and you wouldn't want to have your dinner do a runner before you'd got to the main course now would you. But in that little tank he knew the grasshopper wasn't going anywhere so he just left the rest for later.
Now over at Guantanamo we've got these guys who've been in jail, what 5 or 6 years now and we still can't find any evidence that they've committed any crime, which would be kind of embarrassing if it wasn't so funny. We've tortured them and tortured them and tortured them and they just won't "fess up" to any sort of a crime. Now maybe they are all innocent, but you'd think after all this time they would have had the creativity to think up something to confess to. It's begining to piss me off. What we need to do is stimulate their imaginations.
So what I'm thinking is we get one of these guys and put him in a cell with a polar bear. Not a hungry polar bear you understand, but one who's just eaten a couple of seals or something. Then we take it from there. Surely by the time the bear's eaten an arm or two the guys should have come up with something. What do you reckon folks. Do you think this could work?
7 comments:
That sounds just like something he'd come up with!
Something funny - When I read this, I do it with his stupid accent! LOL! I can't help it!
Yes & it would Entertain the Folks at Sea World or DisneyLand!!
certainly better than watching those boring Pandas that lay around all day - Eat, Shoots & Leaves!!
;PPP
do i hear a Seal Clapping*
Have you ever heard of David Hicks?
He's a cause celebre here...he was in Gitmo for 5 years without charge, while our govenment here at the arse end of the earth colluded with dubya to make an example of him.
He was finally bought before the kangaroo court that they call a military commision charged with an offence that did not exist at the time he was supposed to have commited it but not before they told him that 2 of his 3 lawywers would not be able to defend him unless they agreed to abide by rules that have not been written yet. After 5 years in solitary confinement, David copped a plea bargain. Now our dispicable prime minister is crowing 'I told you so' did I mention that Davids military lawyer is facing charges by the US military for telling the public the truth about Davids incarceration? Does this rant mean I havn't got a sense of humour?
But you never know, the bear might just threaten him by crouching in defecatory position with his stinky hirsute dingleberries dangling and hovering over the faces of the prisoners; and one just might take a bite. What I am trying to say is...
What ARE you trying to say Mathew? Have you been taking drugs? You see what this country is coming to.
No, for I do not take drugs for reasons undefined. I just wanted to use the word 'hirsute' in a sentence. I shall conform through contumacy and say: "George Bush, I don't like that man". After saying that, does it make me seem drug free? or does it make me seem like a plagiarist? I sure hope not. I am a Somniloquist, and I would like to share with you a revelation. Enjoy!
Interesting approach, one I'm sure that has already been thought of but deemed impractical. Dubya is very creative when it comes to covering his ass here, there and everywhere!
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